january
While death continues to plague me, I am recognizing the freedom that it can provide. Despite the uncertainty surrounding death, I can see that life imprisons our souls, and that only in death can we truly become detached from the burdens of this world. I look forward to this release, yet I still am afraid of letting go of all that I have grown accustomed to. I am scared to abandon the relationships I value and the sense of purpose that I have worked so hard to attain. I am hesitant to invested more deeply in earthly pursuits, because I know they will be entirely insignificant the moment this life ends. I feel as though I should remain only partially grounded at all times, aware of my ephemerality, and separate enough from society to remain unaffected by unnecessary stress and anxiety. I wish I could be more easy-going. I could be if I didn’t think so much. I am easy-going in my interpersonal relationships, but with myself, I over think everything.
